Unspoken
by Snow-Aquamarine
Summary: I was lost, and was waiting for someone to come and find me. And then you came and found me, telling me that you love me, if so, why did you leave?
1. The Fateful Day

**Legends**

"Talking," _thinking_

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><p><em>Rima's POV<em>

It had been two years since we fought Easter, now; we all attend Seiyo junior high school. Everything changed, Utau was dating Kukai, Yaya was seemingly closer to Kairi it was only time before the two of them went out, Amu finally decided to choose Ikuto, and Tadase was receiving some practices to head Seiyo from Tsukasa. And Purple head came back from Europe a year ago.

Everyone was moving on, I sometimes wonder if I was, I always stayed on the same spot while everyone took a step forward, everyone had something to do with their life and I was just… well, lost.

I was lost ever since Kusu-Kusu came back to my heart, it wasn't like I couldn't make other laugh, it just made me realize that I didn't know what to do with my life, because Kusu-Kusu went back to my heart, it meant that one of my goals were accomplished, I just didn't know what was the next one.

"Rima, you're spacing out, what are you thinking about?" Nagihiko spoke while waving his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I looked around to examine the classroom; it seemed that while I was preoccupied by my thoughts, class was already over.

I turned my head to the oh, so annoying purple head, "Why didn't you tell me class was already over, you idiot?" I snapped at him.

He sweat dropped, "Ummmm, I did, it was just that you were lost in your thoughts, so you didn't hear me," The oh, so annoying purple head explained.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked me.

"In your dreams, purple head!" I answered him sardonically.

Speaking of purple head, I noticed something different about him lately; he seemed more… distant, I guess, like he didn't want to feel attached, slowly, but surely, he made a gap between himself and us, it was slow, but surely.

Was he going to-

My thoughts were interrupted by Purple Head yet once again.

"Rima~~," He said in a sing-song voice, "You're spacing out again," He pointed out.

"Thank you captain obvious," I mocked him, a little mad that he interrupted my thoughts twice, while organizing my stuffs.

"No problem Rima, it's always nice to be of assistance," He said smiling.

"Hmmph," I turned my head away from him while crossing my arms.

"Oh yeah, Rima, why don't we go out to see the Peach blossoms again today?" He asked me.

I blushed at this; did he just ask me out?

"No way, I've got things to take care of," I lied; obviously, I didn't have any plans for the day.

"C'mon Rima, you can do better than that, I know you're lying," He pointed out my lie.

I was really getting annoyed with his ability to point out my lies, I knew this fact or years, but I really never grew accustomed to it.

"C'mon, I promise you won't regret it," He said smiling.

"Fine, I guess I got time for you," I agreed to his offer, a little too easily to my dismay.

We got out of class and leave the school grounds.

On the way to the park, I couldn't help but wondering why the oh, so annoying purple head suddenly wanted to go to the park with me.

And so, I voiced my thoughts, "Hey, Nagihiko," Yes, over the years I had learned to say his name properly," Why this all of a sudden?"

He smiled faintly, "No reason, I guess. Do I need a reason to spend time with you?" He said the last part playfully.

However, I was not enlightened, I punched the side of his arm, but as usual, I couldn't do much damage to him.

He chuckled a bit.

"What's so funny?" I asked, obviously annoyed by his actions.

"Nothing, it's just, ….." He spoke the last part a little bit too quietly, so I didn't quite hear it.

"What was that?" I asked demanding.

"Nothing of importance," He answered.

"Obviously, since when did you say something worth listening anyway?" I asked sarcastically.

In truth, I was really curious about the last part of his sentence, it was just, when he said that, his eyes, were so full of sadness…

I pushed those thoughts away, and he also swiftly changed the topic of our conversation, we ended up talking about various stuffs on our way there.

"Hey Nagihiko, Do you ever feel, I don't know…. Lost?" I asked him, I felt so lost, that I ended up asking him, how great WAS my life?

"Forget I asked that," I quickly spoke.

"Hmmmmm, that's a hard question," He said to nobody in particular, he was talking to himself mostly.

"I think, at some point, everybody will feel that, I guess, I also did numerous time, it was one of the reason Temari went back to her egg remember?" He reminisced

"If you don't know where to go…" he placed his fore finger to his chin.

"Just follow your heart. Now, now, now, I know it is cliché, but it really is the answer, ask yourself, what do you love best? What do YOU want to do," He explained to me.

I hadn't thought of that, What DO I want to do?

"And if you don't know?" I asked timidly, afraid he was going to mock me for it.

"Then, just go on, in this path called "life", you will definitely be able to find it, "He turned to me, smiling brightly.

I was stunned by his answer, I definitely didn't expect THIS.

We continued our journey to the park, we kept silent. But not an awkward one, a comfortable one, I felt myself smile at this, but I quickly wiped it off my face, I didn't want to let him see it.

When we arrived, we played a lot of fun stuffs, we played her and there, and I actually laughed, I didn't know, but Nagihiko smiled at that.

We were now, sitting in a bench at the edge of the park, exhausted from all the activity we just did.

"How was today, milady?" He teased me.

"It was okay, "I answered, and I wanted to say that it was really fun, but my pride got in the way.

But I guess he saw through that since he smiled, but that was expected, he was always able to see through all my lies anyway.

"So, shall we go home? You don't want to make your mother worry do you?" He reached his hand to me, smiling widely.

After he said that, I just realized that it was already dusk, I better get home soon, or my mother will kill me.

I hopped off the bench, ignoring his hand and started walking to the direction of my house with him trailing behind me.

It didn't take long for us to reach my house; after all, the park was closer to my house than the school.

We reached the front of my house, I turned around to face him, and said my farewell, "So I guess this is it, the end of our little outing."

He smiled faintly, and spoke, "Yeah, I guess it is."

I walked through the fence and grabbed the handle to the front door, and suddenly, he spoke out loud, "Rima!"

"Yeah?" I asked half-heartedly.

"I…" He said rather unsurely, his eyes filled with doubt, but seconds later, it turned into determination.

"I Love you, Rima," He exclaimed.

I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there for a few seconds, desperately trying to find a word to say.

_I should say something, say something you idiot! Say something!_

Nagihiko just stood there, to my surprise, he smiled faintly, I thought he'd be mad, you know.

"It's okay if you don't want to answer Rima," He said softly, making me a little at ease.

_But I WANT to answer, I just can't! Damn it!_

"Goodbye Rima," He said in a sad tone, and walked away.

I didn't know why he sounded so sad, but I was going to learn it the hard way.

That night, I made up my mind, I was going to answer Nagihiko tomorrow, and tell him how I truly feel about him, I always made it seem like we were some kind of archenemy.

But in truth, I was just afraid, afraid that my true feelings would come to the surface, afraid that everyone would find out. But… He was brave enough to do so, than, so can I.

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><p>The next morning, I arrived at school, fearless and determined, determined to tell him how I truly feel, I opened the door to my classroom, but I was surprised, Nagihiko wasn't there, usually, he would always come early.<p>

_Maybe he's with the others._ I thought, so I dropped my bag on my seat and search for the others.

I walked around the school, searching high and low for them, to my luck, I found them all sitting on a bench in front of the huge tree the junior high school had. Amu, Utau, Kukai, Tadase, Yaya, and Kairi were there.

But… They all looked so… sad, _I wonder what's going on?_ I wandered.

I approached them slowly, they noticed me and their eyes got even watery.

"Guyss, ngggg, what's going on?" I wandered out loud.

They all looked at each other for a second, confused on deciding who was going to tell her the news.

Finally, after a few minutes on inner debating between them, Amu stood up and braced herself.

"Rima, you're going to want to sit down," Amu spoke seriously, at that moment, I knew I shouldn't take it lightly, after all, it was rare for Amu not being dense, so I did as told.

"Nagihiko…. He left," Amu said teary-eyed, "He-he left each of us a letter, and this is yours Rima," She handed me a yellow envelope.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, He just said he l-loved me yesterday, and how could he leave now!

I took the envelope and ran with all my might, I left the school grounds; I didn't care about school anymore. All I wanted was just to get out of there, where he and I shared a lot of memories together.

I just ran and ran with all my might, I stopped when I couldn't run anymore; I fell to my knees, tears leaking out of my eyes.

I looked at the envelope in my hand, "A letter? You gave me a fucking letter? Well, don't wish I'm going to read this crap!" I yelled, I brought the envelope to my other hand and ripped it.

But halfway through, I remembered his smiling face and the way he used to call my name.

"_Rima,"_

"_Fake!"_

"_Looks like my secret was found out,"_

And I stopped, I got up and went to a nearby bench, I opened the envelope and found the letter inside, thankfully, it was still readable.

I started reading it.

_Dear Rima,_

_Sorry you have to find out this way, _

_I'm truly sorry, in truth I also found out no long ago, my mother wanted me to go back to Europe to continue my studies, of course, I actually don't' want to go._

_I hate it, leaving my family and friends behind, and especially leaving YOU behind._

_I'm going to miss you so much; I wish I can turn back the time just to be with you longer. I don't want the days to pass, I don't want the nights to go, and I just want the days where I'm with you last forever._

_From the first time I met you, I realize you were special, that you were different from any other girl._

_I don't regret a thing, because I met you._

_I actually don't know how I'm going to live without you, I'm always going to dream your smile at night, and cherish the day I met you._

_And about yesterday, it is okay if you don't feel the same way, from the start, I know the odds were against me, but I still want to say it anyway._

_And one more time, _

_I love you Rima, I did, always do and always will,_

_Farewell my love,_

_Nagihiko Fujisaki._

I stared at the letter, did he really think that? Did he really think it was impossible for me to love him?

I cried harder and harder, just wishing that this was just a horrible nightmare. But it wasn't, it was reality, it is time for me to accept the truth and step forward. Nagihiko wanted to live in the past, but he knew he couldn't, so he stepped forward instead, so this time, it's my turn.

I placed the letter back in the envelope and got back to school with a determined face. _With the courage he gave me, I will keep moving forward from now on. After all_

"_It's not tears that suit you, it's a smile,"_

I wiped the last of my tears, and began to walk to school

_My life was just starting, and this was a new beginning_

_The next time we meet, I won't hesitate to tell you,_

_The words that I couldn't say_

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><p>I just want to write a one shot, the idea came from the song 1000 words,<p>

so, what'd you think? This is my first Shugo Chara! onsehot

flames allowed


	2. Passion

So, I'm posting this here because I want to continue it, so I separate it from Unspoken

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><p>I sat on my bed in my apartment; looking out through the window, it's been 5 years since that fateful day, the day that changed my life for good.<p>

Now, I'm attending a university majoring in literature, throughout the years, I found out that my passion for comedy deepened, and I started writing skits, to my surprise, people around me gave positive feedback about it, that was the first moment I truly felt alive since you left.

_When I remember back far, far_

That fateful day, you told me to ask my heart for the answer when I couldn't find one, thank you for that.

A smile crept up to my face, remembering that glorious day.

Now, I found a dream, my professors were sure about my future, and I am no longer lost.

Hey… are you happy that because of you now I am able to stand up with my own two feet?

_The future was forever shining_

_Below the pretty blue sky_

Back then, I was so frightened about what was to come, because I was lost in a maze called life, and had no way of figuring it out, but you, came to my aid, like a knight in shining armor, and washed all my fears away.

_We were only frightened a little_

I looked out, now standing, this had become a habit of mine since you left, if I continue to stare out my window, maybe, just maybe, there is a small chance I can see a glimpse of a long flowing violet.

Hey… is it silly for me to do this? To just stare and hoping you'll come back?

_This window is stained with sorely missed color_

I continued on with my life, hoping that one day, our paths may cross yet once again, but I am also afraid that you have already moved on, time really is merciless huh? It won't wait for anybody, even If you're begging it to slow down even just for a while.

Hey… do you like someone else already? Or am I just being paranoid?

_If I keep looking forward_

_Will I meet you again?_

_Because the future continues on forever_

_Underneath a large sign_

_I want to watch the time change_

For your information, everything has changed already, drastically if I may say.

Amu has gone with Ikuto to God knows where. Tadase is receiving training from Tsukasa to be the next successor of Seiyo.

Utau continued with her singing career and now is on world tour, and Kukai is in Brazil, with a scholarship for soccer of course.

Kairi, is now studying in Yale, it was no big deal really, it wasn't hard seeing this coming, but, the surprise was that Yaya also went there, she studied day and night, so he wouldn't be away from her.

I envy her, really, if only I was bold like her, then maybe, I can change something.

But I, seeing my friends move on, cannot stay still also; I am currently in Europe, studying literature as I already said.

Now that I think about it, wow, reunion will be tough. O_o

Hey… is it really that impossible, for all of us to meet again?

_Towards the people, the places,_

_I will never see again_

_I open this window_

Slowly, I pushed open the only window in my damp apartment

I closed my eyes, and I felt the breeze dancing on my face, tickling my face, and slowly I lost myself again in our happier days, I wonder if it's bad, I'm afraid, if I keep doing this, sooner or later, I will run away from reality.

Hey… do I ever cross your mind? Because for me, it happens all the time.

_When I remember back far, far_

_The future was forever shining_

_Below the pretty blue sky_

_We slept endlessly_

Come to think of it, you haven't bought me that promised parfait, it may seem stupid for me to remember this, as it was just a joke, but I can never forget it.

Hey… do you also remember that promise?

_The person I loved long ago_

_Is nowhere to be found_

_Sometimes I just want to doubt_

_Our promises made long ago_

_I could never forget_

When you left, you gave us your address; I can't help but wonder did our letters ever reach you? Did MY letter ever reach you? If so, why didn't you reply?

But I still want to believe, so I sent you my new address, I wonder, will you send a new year's card?

Hey… is it stupid for me to keep believing?

_I wonder if your New Year's card will have a photo_

I couldn't help but to think, if only, if only, I wasn't such a coward. Will things turn out differently? Will you be by my side right now?

Hey… did you wish for me to do something different?

_I just look back, and miss_

_All the things we couldn't do_

_My fears, my lies_

_Below the blue sky_

I opened my eyes, and they are welcomed by the view of people wondering in the streets, but something caught my eyes.

I saw a glimpse of a long flowing violet.

With all my might, I screamed, "NAGIHIKO!"

It was time to get some answers.

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><p>Please continue reading this even though it sucks.<p>

The song is Passion by Utada Hikaru, but I tweaked the lyrics a bit, so it would match my story, I hope none of the Utada Hikaru fans are offended, I really don't mean it.

Review pleaseeeeeeeee ^_^

If you don't review than you are just plain mean


	3. Because You're Here

"NAGIHIKO!" I called out to the one I love the most.

From my apartment's window, I could see the person with long violet hair looking around, wondering who called him.

I opened my apartment door and slammed it hard; I have to go, no matter what, I have to go see him.

"_Because you're here, there is a tomorrow that I want to protect,"_

_Those words from you were the start of walking._

Second chances don't come twice, this time I have to do it,

I have to tell him how I truly feel.

"_I love you Rima,"_

I remembered that sweet voice dangling in my ears, whispering equally sweet words. I walked with a fast pace, but soon; it turned into an all-out run.

_We get tired from things that don't go well,_

_The only thing that doesn't change every day is the feeling for someone_

I continued to run down the stairs in my apartment building.

Every day from the past five years, I continued to hold on, I kept going and endured my pain because I was waiting for you, waiting to meet you again and tell you the words that I couldn't say before.

_How can I do my best until the end? Without breaking_

_The moon shines upon the heart that might break_

Sometimes I wonder, "C_an I really hold on_?_ Can I hold on in a place where you're not around?"_

And I would look up through my window at night and just stare at the moon.

I would close my eyes and your voice would always come rushing back to my ears, as if you were right there, beside me.

"_Then, just go on, in this path called "life", you will definitely be able to find it, "_

The words that kept me going and pressured me to not give up no matter what life threw at me.

_"Because you're here, there is a tomorrow that I want to protect"_

_Those words from you were the start to walking_

_"Because you're here, I won't give up even the smallest dream"_

_In the city that even made believing into an illusion_

I ran harder and faster. I was so determined, yet I was also scared, scared that you wouldn't be there when I arrived, and scared to hear the answers to my questions.

You know, if you didn't save me from that endless maze, I wouldn't be here today, your words, they would always replay themselves in my head, as if they were telling me not to give up even the smallest dream. And I certainly won't give up on this one.

Because you were always here in my heart, I was able to move on.

In that city that had crushed my hopes and dreams, my father and mother had divorced there, I had forgotten how to smile there, and I had lost my love there, I had lost you there.

_Everyone acts like they're lost but actually living_

_Pretends to look but wants to be found_

I remembered how I was lost back then, everyone pretending they were also lost with me so I wouldn't feel alone, so I wouldn't feel lonely, but in truth, they weren't and I had always been alone.

I had made it seem like I didn't need help, but I was actually desperate for it, and then you came into the picture, you answered the pleadings of my voiceless voice.

_Why does love exist in this world? _

_Why do people hurt others and want to be forgiven?_

I used to think that love was just a clichéd thing that only hurt people's hearts, but that was before you came, and slowly, my perspective of love changed for good.

I still don't know what love is, honestly, but I kind of know what it feels like now.

"_Because you're here, there is a tomorrow that I want to protect"_

_Those words from you was the start of walking_

"_Because you're here, I won't give up even the smallest dream"_

_In the city that made believing into an illusion_

I opened the door of my apartment building frantically, searching left and right for you, and there, I started to wonder, was that just an illusion?

Was that just a cruel punishment for me? A wake up call, was that it? So I wouldn't keep on dreaming?

_There seems to be something that can be done by me_

_There seems to be something that cannot be ended_

_I want to help you as much as I can_

I wandered aimlessly. In my heart, a little spark of hope still existed, hoping that you would appear in front of me, and call my name dearly.

But soon, that little spark would die.

"Rima?"

I heard someone call my name, that voice… that voice

I turned around as quickly as I could and in front of me, a young man with long violet hair, and masculine face features, with a pair of ochre eyes, wearing a long sleeved, light blue T-shirt and jeans, completed by a black jacket that was tied around his waist appeared.

_Because you're here, there is a tomorrow that I want to protect"_

_Those words from you was the start to walking_

_"Because you're here, I won't give up even the smallest dream"_

_In the city that even made believing into an illusion_

_Is this a dream?_ I thought.

Well if it is, I don't ever want to wake up.

A smile crept up to my face, a smile that was so genuine from my heart, a smile that others rarely see, a smile that I rarely smile, a smile that was just for him.

He smiled back at me, the smile that was so warm; it melted the ice in my heart.

"Nagi-"

I was cut off by a girl, seemingly our age, with blonde hair that reached just right above her shoulders, and was curled up in the end, wearing a blue, long sleeved one-piece. She had a pair of cerulean eyes to compliment her dress.

"Nagi!" She smiled brightly and ran to his side, encircling her arms around his.

_Hey… do you like someone else already? Or am I just being paranoid?_

My answer for that was the loving look that was on his face, but that, was not meant for me.

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><p>So? What do you think? I'm not quite confident about this though<p>

And special thanks to LizzieGlee12 for helping me post this chapter, thanks Lizzie ;)

R&R pleaseeee!


	4. My Dear Friend

Disclaimer: Yada yada yada, I don't own it.

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><p>I sat silently on my bed, not willing to move, even just an inch. My defense mechanism was up, in other words, I was curled up in my infamous ball position. It had been a few days since that fateful encounter. I flinched when I remembered that particular event.<p>

_Flashback_

_I stood there, wide eyed, horrified at what I was seeing. I wished that it was just a nightmare, but I wouldn't wake up no matter how many times I told myself to. There, right in front of me, a girl was encircling her arms around the man I loved, and to add the horror, he gave the girl a look. A look that he had given me a few years ago and a look that I wished he would give to me, and not her._

_Finally aware of my presence once again, they both looked at me, I really hoped that they didn't, because once they did, I lost all my confidence. The girl looked at me, then at the man with long flowing hair._

"_Who is this girl, Nagi?"__ I heard her spoke in French. She looked at him with curiosity filled in her eyes._

"_Oh yeah, Lulu, this is Rima Mashiro, a friend back in Japan,"__ He then, looked at me while raising his hand at the direction of the girl, and spoke, "__Rima, this is Lulu de Morcef Yamamoto, she's half French and Japanese, she can't speak Japanese though"._

_A friend … Huh? That's all I am to him now isn't it? My heart was aching so badly, but __**I am Rima Mashiro, the queen, I will not show my weakness to her.**_

_I mustered up the best fake smile I can and raised my hand, __"I'm Rima, nice to meet you Lulu," __I said full of glee._

"_THAT Mashiro Rima, huh?" __I heard her speak in low tone with a hint of jealousy and anger, but it was probably just my imagination anyways. She quickly smiled and shook my hand, "__Hi Rima, nice to meet you too, Nagi mentioned you a lot," __She stated, I didn't know why, but I couldn't sense any genuine in her voice. _

"_Really? He probably only mentioned the bad things__," I said in sarcasm._

_She chuckled a bit and spoke, "__He only mentioned the good things about you, you know, sometimes it even makes me jealous even if we are already in that level of relationship," __She said half bragging._

_Hearing that, Nagihiko finally spoke, "__You know that's not true right? I already told you a lot of times that there's nothing going on between me and Rima," __He half whined._

_Hearing them talk like this, it made me curious, what IS the level of their relationship? And I braced myself to ask the dreadful question, "__Are you guys, boyfriend and girlfriend?"__ I asked timidly._

_Lulu looked dumbfounded, after a few seconds passed, she finally spoke, __"Guess I missed a tiny little detail, huh? He's my fiancé"._

_It turned out that the answer was more than what I had bargained for…_

I still remembered it clearly, the loving looks on each of their faces. They looked so happy. I must had looked like an idiot, running around the streets, searching desperately for somebody, only to find out that they were already engaged.

I suddenly heard the doorbell rang, but I didn't move to open the door. It rang a few more times before I decided to yell, "DAMN IT! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS, JUST LEAVE AND COME BACK LATER, OR A BETTER IDEA, NEVER!"

I pant a little after yelling on the top of my lung, and I heard someone talking in front of my apartment door, it seemed like the person, whoever they were, was still there.

Reluctantly, I got up from bed, stomped to my apartment door, and slammed it open, "WHICH PART OF LEAVING DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" I yelled loudly.

But once I focused on the person who was in front of me, I regretted yelling. A girl with mid length pink hair, wearing a punkish outfit with honey eyes, now filled with shocked was standing there with a man. The man had a dark midnight blue hair and violet eyes; he was wearing a black shirt with black trousers.

"That was not nice shrimp," I heard the man commented, he spoke in Japanese accent, an accent I rarely heard here.

I turned my gaze towards Amu, and she was still shocked, probably because of the yelling, because I was pretty sure she didn't know French.

"Sorry Amu, I'm just a little upset about something, that's all, sorry for yelling at you," I said in low tone, looking at the floor.

"It's okay Rima," She said with pure genuine in her voice, "Do you want to talk about it?" I finally looked up, seeing concerned eyes, replacing the ones filled with shock.

"Right and I'll be around," Ikuto said and with that he walked down the stairs.

I was still shocked by Amu's presence, how did she know where I lived? Those years sending emails and letters finally paid off, since my best friend in the whole wide world was right there in front of me, visiting me.

I let her in, and we both entered my room, once we sat down on my bed, everything just sort of spilled out, me waiting for Nagihiko, me running around just to see him, and him being someone else's fiancé.

After hearing my story, she remained stoic for a while; her honey eyes showed me that she was deep in her thoughts. It seemed that she wanted to be careful with her words since I was in a very vulnerable state.

What she said next though, was not what I had expected at all, I was expecting something along with the line, "it'll be okay," "it must be tough," but instead, she said, "You can **cry **if you want Rima, if you're happy, smile, and if you're sad, you're allowed to cry."

"You always put this mask around, not letting anybody in, afraid that they will see the real you, but, you don't always have to act tough Rima, you're allowed to show your emotions,"

What I did next, gave her a surprise as well, because, I smiled.

_You suddenly said, "You can cry if you want,"_

_Somehow it made me happy, instead of tears, I smiled_

Just half an hour ago, I was yelling on top of my lungs at her, she didn't understand it though, but still. Not to mention when we had been little, I was also cold towards her, calling her an incompetent joker, yet she had went all the way to melt the ice in my heart, by being a true friend.

_My words so clumsy, they hurt you_

_But I don't want you to leave me; I want you to stay beside me always_

"Thank you Amu, you always seem to be here at the right time, thanks for being here for me," I said smiling wide.

"Well, you're my best friend, I'll always be here for you through thick and thin Rima," She said happily.

I couldn't believe my own ears at that moment, everything played back in my head, how kind she was to me, and how supportive she was on my dream.

When I had told everyone about my dream becoming a skit writer, she was supportive, while everyone else had been doubtful, and had told me, to go for it.

And now, when I was struggling in life, she showed up, comforting me, just when I needed it the most. At first, she couldn't find a word to say to me, but she was here for me; I appreciated it, really, more than false concerned words when they didn't even know what the pain I was going through felt like.

"Rima, I say go for it,"

"Go for what?" I asked confused.

"Telling him how you truly feel about him, when he left, you told me you promised yourself that you would tell him when you met him again, and now, you did," she said pointing out my encounter with Nagihiko.

"Yeah, but he's got a fiancé,"

"So?"

"So? It' wrong!"

"Telling a person how you truly feel is never wrong!" She yelled

I was taken aback, but I saw the truth in her words, I had made a promise to myself, there wasn't any reason to go back on it now.

_Wishes and dream I want to come true_

_The feelings I wish I could tell him_

_A miracle created from the things I've always believed_

_Is connected to the future_

_Always, always please watch over me_

_My dear friend_

The night had fallen, Amu was about to leave with Ikuto to a hotel (A/N: I know that is wrong on so many levels, but don't think anything you pervert). They were going to stay here for a few days, apparently Amu also wanted to see Nagihiko, or more like Nadeshiko.

Upon leaving, she said her final words of the day to me, "You'll be able to do it Rima," She smiled, a genuine one, and started descending down the stairs.

A smile crept up to my face; she really had a faith on me, didn't she? After a while, I noticed that Ikuto was still there.

"I have no idea what that was about shrimp, but if you survived Easter, you would surely be able to do it," And that was his final words to me for the day. He smiled at me, or more like a smirk, and started catching up to Amu.

_You said, on leaving, "You'll be able to do it,"_

_The loneliness I felt was wiped clean with those words_

I closed the door behind me and made my way to the bedroom, I smiled to myself, replaying today's turn of events. They had come all the way here to visit me, they had come in my time of need, I couldn't believe I had once felt lonely when I had such great friends.

I was scared to tell him my feelings, but who didn't?

But every time I was scared. I would remember your words and I would be strong enough.

"_You'll be able to do it Rima,"_

_I'm opening a new door, anyone would be frightened_

_All I had to do was remember you and strength flowed trough me_

I wouldn't give up, I would stop being such a wimp, I was not the old Rima, hiding between her fan boys, back then, you had known you were going to leave, but you still told me you feelings, believing in that little spark called hope, now, it was my turn.

"I love you,"

This time, I would make sure I say it.

And I believed, after that, rejected or not, I would be able to move on.

_I won't give up my feelings__  
><em>_If I can make voice to all these words__  
><em>_Then the future will open up wide__  
><em>_Because forever you are in my heart__  
><em>_My dear friend_

From today onwards, I had vowed to myself, that I would not pity myself anymore, and would keep on moving forward no matter what life threw at me.

I opened my window, looking at the starry night sky, it gave me warmth and a new hope. Looking out the window had always relaxed me.

_I can't wait to see Amu and Ikuto again_

_I vow that_

_No matter if I stop, or if I forget_

_I will keep on moving forward_

_Light is shining down, when I look up at the sky_

_Until the day when I can see you again_

I closed the windows after relaxing for a while; I made my way to my bed, I laid on it and closed my eyes.

With my newfound hopes and determination, I would continue to look towards the future and not dwell on the past.

_I won't give up my feelings__  
><em>_If I can make voice to all these words__  
><em>_Then the future will open up wide__  
><em>_Wishes, the dreams I want to come true__  
><em>_The feelings I wish I could tell you__  
><em>_A miracle created from the things I've always believed__  
><em>_Is connected to the future__  
><em>_Always, always I want you to watch over me__  
><em>_my dear friend_

Thank you, my dear friends.

* * *

><p>To LizzieGlee12: Sorry, I just feel like redoing the story, I hope I don't offend you or anything, you are free to point out my mistakes as well.<p>

**Special thanks to:**

LizzieGlee12

ponyopwnsyou143

characard

Sonotora

Blueberryfan10

Faith

RIMAHIKO POWNS

And many others who read the story, please tell me what you think of it, and I will fix it as best as I can.


	5. Teardrops

Disclaimer: I own nothing

_thinking_ _French_

* * *

><p>I woke up from my slumber, beat and tired. I get ready just like usual, I eat breakfast just like usual… but I know, that everything's different now. A couple of weeks ago, I found out that Nagihiko and Lulu transferred to my university…<p>

_Flashback_

_Lulu and Nagihiko came to me and greeted me oh, ever so warmly._

"_Rima, I didn't know that you attend here as well. Please take care of us, since we're new here, there are a lot of things we don't know about, please guide us." Nagihiko said warmly._

"_Yes Mashiro-san, please help my fiancé and I__." Lulu added._

_And then they left, hand in hand, with happy looks on their faces, as if the world's theirs and nothing could ruin it, and I was nothing more than a side character to their happy love story…_

I don't know why she repeated the word fiancé over and over again, it's as if she was making her claim, like she's saying that he's hers now, and I was too late.

And I know, more than anyone else, that I was too late. If only I wasn't so afraid, if only I wasn't such an idiot… it could've been me in his arms, it could've been me who's by his side. Every night, I would often think about it… but when I wake up, reality hit me hard; because it wasn't me who's there… it was someone else…

I don't know when, but when I realize it; my face is already wet with tears. I quickly wipe it away. _C'mon Rima, you've got to be strong. _

And so, I go to my university just like usual.

I go to classes just like usual, eat lunch just like usual. But in my heart, I know that nothing's the same anymore. He doesn't love me anymore, and now, it's just an unrequited love that pains me every time.

As I walk along the corridors, I see Nagihiko and lulu, her arms are encircled around his right arm, and he is holding his books.

He turns his head towards me and grees me with a bright smile, "Hi, Rima."

_Drew looks at me_

_I fake a smile so he won't see_

_What I want and I need_

_And everything that we should be_

I muster the best fake smile I can give and reply his greeting, "Hi to you too Nagihiko."

A smile that hides what I want, my desires, my emotion, so that he won't see, how broken I really am now, how I always imagine that I'm the girl who's holding his hand, who he looks lovingly at.

After a few moments of our encounter, I hear footsteps coming towards me; it turns out to be Lulu coming.

"Excuse me, Mashiro-san." She said with a stern look on her face.

I smile as best as I can and reply, "Yes, Yamamoto-san? What can I help you with?"

"Mmmm… it's more of a request really, if you don't mind…" She said uncertainly.

"Can you… keep a good distance from my fiancé?" She continued.

I am currently baffled by her words, how in the world can she think that Nagihiko and I are close? After meeting him here, all I did was keeping distance from him, sure we talk every once in a while, but it was just a simple catching up that has no harm whatsoever. She's the one who's' the closest to him right now.

"Pardon?" is the only word I can manage to say.

"How do I say it correctly…? I mean, it's not like I'm asking you to stop being his friend or anything, but you're a woman too right? You know… I just feel so insecure, I was the only girl in his life up till he met you a couple of weeks ago, and it just makes me insecure."

"I heard, in Japanese, that calling people by first names is a sign for closeness, and you and Nagi call each other's first name, and both of you share a history together you know… it makes me a little bit uncomfortable. Please don't take this offensively."

My mind stops working for a second. But when it starts working again, all I can think of is how I DON'T want to keep my distance; I DON'T want to call him Fujisaki-san, I WANT to be close to him. I want him… to be mine. But it's already impossible.

So instead, I betray my own feelings, and say, "Don't worry too much, Yamamoto-san, if it makes you happy, I'll be glad to call him Fujisaki-san, after all, he IS you fiancé, you know he's not the kind of a person who'll betray you right?"

"Thank you very much, Mashiro-san…. I am really glad… hey, and for what it counts, you can call me Lulu you know, oh, I have class, see you later Rima." She speeds off.

I'm glued to the floor unable to move. Here I am, just staring at the floor. How pathetic can I be?

For the next days, I keep more and more distance away from Nagihiko. Because I know, that he's not mine… and he never will be.

At first, he was shocked about me calling him Fujisaki-san, but he became okay with it after I lied through my teeth about it with a fake smile plastered on my face.

_I'll bet she's beautiful_

_That girl he talks about_

_And she's got everything_

_That I have to live without_

I'm jealous of her, I can't deny that, I envy her, I yearn to be her. Every night, when I don't have studies, assignments or some sort of project than can occupy me, I would think about it, and would cry myself to sleep.

That's right, it proves how pathetic I really am, how weak I really am, I had promised to Amu that I would tell him how I really feel, but every time I see them together, I see no place for me between them, and that always makes my heart gives up a little every day.

_Drew talks to me_

_I laugh 'cause it's just so funny_

_I can't even see_

_Anyone when he's with me_

When he and I have a conversation together without Lulu by his side, it feels as if we're at school again, chatting and laughing like kids.

It's just so funny you know, to know how stupid I really am, he's taken. That fact is crystal clear. But when he's with me like this, I feel as if, I have a chance, a chance to have him all to myself. A chance to make him look at me once again, to make him look this way, instead of over there.

But that's too funny you know, this isn't a fairy tale, which happily ever after is not for everyone, and apparently, that everyone includes me.

Hey… aren't I just the biggest idiot in the whole wide world?

_He says he's so in love_

_He's finally got it right_

_I wonder if he knows_

_He's all I think about at night_

But when he talks about her, my heart dies inside, all I can do is just smile, nod, and agree. I wonder, when we were children, he could always see through my acts, what about now? I wonder if my cover's been blown, that he knows how hurt I really am, how I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him.

And he just keeps silent about him, because Lulu is just too precious to him; his happiness is too precious to let it be wrecked by me…

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_

_The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star_

_He's the song in the car I keep singing_

_Don't know why I do_

_Drew walks by me_

_Can he tell that I can't breathe?_

_And there he goes, so perfectly_

_The kind of flawless I wish I could be_

They walk by me… rendering me speechless… as always, only he can make me feel like this…

_She better hold him tight_

_Give him all her love_

_Look in those beautiful eyes_

_And know she's lucky 'cause_

She better hold him tight, don't let anyone steal him away from her; don't repeat the same mistake I did. Because the consequences of those actions are really grave, and will haunt her for the rest of her life… just like me…

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_

_The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star_

_He's the song in the car I keep singing_

_Don't know why I do_

_So I drive home alone_

_As I turn out the light_

_I'll put his picture down_

_And maybe get some sleep tonight_

Here I am, in my room, lying on my bed, I got nothing better to do, and I already did all my assignments early to distract myself. Maybe I should sleep; I haven't been getting any decent sleep lately. I should try to sleep; everyone knows that overworking leads to bad things.

_'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_

_The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart_

_He's the song in the car I keep singing_

_Don't know why I do_

_He's the time taken up but there's never enough_

_And he's all that I need to fall into_

_Drew looks at me_

_I fake a smile so he won't see_

For now, all I can do is smile… with my fakest mask, and just hope that he won't notice… I can feel it… slowly, but surely, an ice wall is surrounding my heart once again…

* * *

><p>Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift<p>

Thank you very much for reading


	6. Noticed

SOrry for not updating in a while... I was actually confused whether I should continue this or not, because I think it's utter crap, anyway enjoy!

French

* * *

><p>I noticed….<p>

I noticed how you no longer smile around me.

I noticed how you no longer laugh around me.

I noticed how you're slowly… but surely being distant to me.

I noticed how you always "smile" in front of me, being perfectly confident in your acting skills, just like the old days…

Did you forget?

No matter what, I'll always know when you're lying or not….

Because right now, your smiling face in front of me looks like a crying face to me, ready to break down at any minute, but you hold it in, trying to be strong…

And finally, I noticed… how slowly, ices start surrounding your heart yet once again…

* * *

><p>"Rimaaaa!" I yelled out her name while running, catching up to her.<p>

She turned around and 'smiled' at me, "What is it Fujisaki-san?"

My heart died inside a little, 'Fujisaki-san'…

But nevertheless, I smiled back at her, "Let's go to class together, since our classes are near each other.

I saw her think for a while, debating on whether she should take my offer or not, I guess she's worried about Lulu. I don't blame her I guess.

Then she answered, "Sure, why not?"

And with that, we walked to class together.

Every day, it's always like this, she never smiles at me anymore.

She is certainly bad at acting… you need more than that… to lie to Nagihiko Fujisaki.

I was spacing out in a café with Lulu in front of me; we decided to spend some quality time together that afternoon.

"What's wrong Nagi?" She asked me.

"It's nothing…" I answered with a smile plastered on my face.

"Oh, c'mon, you and I both know that when you say it's nothing, it's always something. Come on tell me, I am your _fiancé_, after all." She retorted doing a quotation gesture on the word fiancé.

"She calls me Fujisaki-san… I think you took it too far Lulu." I said a bit ticked off.

She just shrugged at my comment.

"And she… seems distant as well… She acts around us, you know that right?"

"Well of course, I am an amazing actress after all." She said with a wink.

"The result of being too close to the Fujisaki household." She ended with a sigh.

"Yes, and that pains me… I mean, we used to be such close friend, she would never act around me… Only me, she even acts around Amu sometimes, but not me…" 

"It's just… frustrating I guess…" I put my hands over my head to stress the frustrating part.

She just sighed.

"Nagi, you know this is bound to happen right? These are the consequences of your own decisions… you decided, it was you who decided, not me, not anyone else, but you… I already told you it'd be like this..."

"I know! I know! I know, I know… But I just pains me to see her like this." I yelled out of frustration.

She gives me a sympathetic look, and spoke, "Well? Do you want to continue? Or stop?"

"I just don't know… I don't know what to do anymore."

She sighed for the umpteenth time that afternoon.

"It's actually really simple, let me ask you one thing, do you love her?"

The world became silent around me… and I though hard, do I love her?

The question struck me.

I pictured her smiling face in my head, her laughter in my ears, and my thoughts to never ever want to let that face be drenched in tears.

And the answer is clear. Yes…

I, Nagihiko Fujisaki, am in love with Mashiro Rima, was, and will always be.

Lulu smirked at me, "You know, even I can see it clearly."

I smiled sadly at her, "But I can't… and you know why Lulu…"

"That's why I'm telling you this Nagihiko! Get this through your thick skull immediately! It is exactly because of that; that you should hurry tell her your feelings!"

I was about to snap back at her when I see Rima in the corner of my eyes, she was in front of the café, and she was staring at us, it's not until moments later until she realized that I already noticed her.

And she ran, it wasn't clear, but I think… I saw tear running down her cheeks, the tears she couldn't show me…

I was debating with myself, whether I want to chase after her or not.

It was a hard decision, but I didn't move an inch from the chair.

"So you're still hanging onto that decision?" She sighed.

I didn't answer her; I just gritted my teeth, trying not to scream out loud, trying hard not to chase after her, and just hug her and tell her I love her the most. But I couldn't.

Because I, had made a decision.

"It will be very appreciated if you continue to support me with my lies..."

Because I am one hell of an actor…

* * *

><p>Hey Nagihiko, do you know that I also noticed?<p>

Your every lie….

Because I am one hell of an actress as well.

What I'm disappointed about is…

That you didn't notice that what makes me sad… is your very lies themselves.

I am a way better actress than you…

Because I noticed, that beneath your smiling face, is a crying face…


	7. Blank

A/N: I don't own anything

* * *

><p>It's white…..<p>

The ceiling, the floor, the bed, the window, everything is white; it is as if I am being swallowed by this whiteness.

I really hate the color white, I truly do, with all my heart, I really do.

A lot of people like the color white, but for me, it is like a symbol of emptiness, like nothing can exist anymore among this whiteness. And in this emptiness, I stand, completely being alone and consumed by my own thoughts.

I really hate white…

* * *

><p>It was just another ordinary day, living as a college student, studying diligently like a normal student, but upon that day, something was also not normal, unnatural if I may say.<p>

The existence of that someone wasn't there, and I felt that it was for the best, because if that person was there, I would once again become the biggest fool in this world. Of course at first I still felt a little off without that person by my side, but I still thought that it was for the best, for that, was the best decision for both of us.

It was not until I was informed that I realized, it was not until I was informed that I understood, and it was not until I was informed that I once again became the biggest fool in this world.

The next thing I knew I already ran, and here I am running amongst the crowd, just desperately yelling inside for these short legs to move faster, so that I can go to that person's side even just a little bit faster.

Because it was not until I was informed that Fujisaki Nagihiko, the person I love the most, has a heart failure…

That I realized what a big idiot I was being, what a stupid and selfish person I have been.

Because it was not until I was informed that the person that means the world to me has a heart disease.

That I understood why his smiles look even more of a fake than mine, understood why he never confronted me for the fake smiles that I muster every time, and I understood why he was lying all the time.

Because it was not until I was informed the person that I've been thinking of for all these years, is in the verge of death.

That I became the biggest fool yet once again, I was given a chance… a chance to tell him what I really truly felt… and I wasted it… just like a fool… I let my chance slipped once, and now it is slipping away from my grasps yet again.

And in this very moment, I realize, that I've been crying for quite a while now, tears that are streaming down my face just won't stop no matter how many times I wipe them away. And so, I run even harder.

* * *

><p>I'm alone…<p>

I hate being alone, the thing is, you can't do anything by yourself, I mean anything.

And there is nothing I hate more, than this solitude that I am experiencing right now… I'm suffocating, suffocating in this silence, suffocating from my own thoughts, my regrets, everything.

And I'm tormented by the thoughts of that person, the way that person smiles, laughs, angry, and trying to be strong, I like them all, and I am deathly afraid, that I will not be able to see them anymore.

I don't know when it started since I was too engrossed in my own thoughts, but outside this room has been very noisy for a while until it disrupted my train of thoughts.

The next thing I know, a color is splashed into this white world. A color so vibrant yet so beautiful that I am mesmerized by it. From this moment, this world is no longer white, because the moment she entered this room, it is already splashed with many colors that I long for. Yet at the same time, I know that everything will likely be exposed now.

* * *

><p>I've arrived…<p>

This room, it is so white… so colorless… so, so… boring…

I am just standing in front of that person, looking at his eyes which are looking right back at mine. Slowly, I take a step forward, one at a time, closing the distance between us, breaching the barriers between us; slowly I walk to his side.

When I am already by his side, I am truly shocked, no, shocked is undermining it. His face, which is usually so vibrant and lively, is now so pale that I just want to caress it gently. His hair which is always combed so nicely is now in disarray, urging me to comb it with my hands.

But I did not do either of that, instead I am only ale to mutter one word, "Why….?"

His face is overridden with guilt in an instance, than it changed to confusion and finally defeat.

He fixes his position into a sitting position.

He answers my question while smiling, yet that smile, looks so bitter, "Just because."

Silence engulfed between us once again as soon as he answered my question.

I don't say anything; instead, I gently use my hand to glide through his long hair, combing it gently, just like what I desired.

And we say nothing for a while, until I decide to break this silence, "How long? How long hid it from us, from me?" Hurt evident in my voice.

"Ever since I found out." He answers simply.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask again.

"Because I like your face with a smile more." He says hurt.

* * *

><p>Silence…<p>

I am not alone anymore since she is here with me, but nevertheless we are silent…

1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, and 10 minutes we have kept silent.

And then, she starts talking.

"There was once this girl, she was an ordinary girl, she went to school, chatted with friends, studied diligently, and had a crush on a boy her age… just like a normal girl she was…"

I don't know where the story is going, but I just keep silent for the moment, absorbing every word she is saying.

"Because she was shy and prideful, she did not tell the boy her feelings, instead, she acted cold towards him, giving him glares, saying mean words, calling him a liar all the time, when in fact, she just wanted to say 'I love you'."

"And so, the days went on with the girl still struggling to say her true feelings. Then, one day, the boy she liked confessed to her… she was so happy she could die, but she was too dumb to even reply, and the boy left just like that… That night, she was determined to reply the boy's feelings the next day… but the next day, the boy had already left for Europe, and the girl was heartbroken."

By this point of the story, I am already filled with regrets and guilt all over me that I just want to hug her and tell her I'm sorry, but the story continues.

"Years later, the girl had become independent and went to study to Europe, maybe, just maybe, she hoped to see the boy again, that was why she chose to go to Europe… And there, they met yet once again… But fate was too cruel, because the boy already had a fiancé by his side."

"But what hurt her more was that he lied….. He lied to her, he didn't have a fiancé, the boy thought that if he was protecting the girl's feelings by doing this, because…. He had a heart disease, so severe that he never knew how long he could live…"

"So, everyday he hurt her, using his fake fiancé, he hurt her so badly that she cried almost every night. But when the girl found out the truth, she ran, she ran, and she ran until her legs gave out, to just be by his side."

"To say, the world left unspoken years ago,"

"**I love you…"**

* * *

><p>And the world went blank for me, she just said that she loved me quite indirectly, and it left me completely speechless.<p>

* * *

><p>I said it, I finally said it, a feeling of accomplishment surged through me, but I realized that he didn't say anything… and I frown.<p>

He turns his face towards me and speaks up, "But Rima, I… I…"

"I know…" I answer with ease.

I don't know what came over me, but I pulled him into an embrace, an embrace so tender that it left me speechless.

And we stay like that, as if the world is ours.

Finally, it is not unspoken anymore…

* * *

><p>Sorry for such a bad chapter, and the points of view keep changing as well -_-''<p>

I hope you guys don't hate it too much


	8. Leaving

Days have passed quite considerably here in the hospital, but not once did I get a permission to leave the hospital, if not anything, I think that my disease is getting worse, the attacks are getting more frequent, which can only mean one thing, my time is getting near.

I have to have a heart transplant soon if I want to survive, but so far, there's no news about a donated heart, my parents already paid a huge sum of money so that I can be the first in the waiting list, but if there isn't any heart that matches mine, it is quite futile indeed.

During my days here, not once was she absent from paying me a visit, she would come every day and she'd bring flowers with her, and then she'd tell stories from her day. Once she told me about a guy that confessed to her, it made my blood boil and how I just wished to punch that guy in the face and say, "she's mine!" out loud… But I can't, I was quickly reminded that I was on a hospital bed, a sickly person that probably wouldn't have a future, much less a future with her.

I smile bitterly at my own thought, I am really a pessimist these days, but it's not like I can help it either, my demise is only a few days, weeks, if I'm lucky, and counting…

I suddenly hear the door open, and she steps in, the sun of my life, the one that still gives me a little bit of hope…

"Nagi," she says brightly with a wide smile on her face, in her hands are a bouquet of violets, my favorites.

She quickly approaches me and put the bouquet on a table near the bed, she sits down on a chair near the bed.

"So…" she starts, "how are you feeling?"

Like a piece of shit, unable to do anything, unable to have a future, just lying on this bed, counting days when I meet my own demise… but despite that, I answer, "I'm feeling rather good today, maybe we can go outside to the yard."

She frowns, "No, you shouldn't, you should stay in bed," she answers quietly, afraid that something might happen to me, as if I'm as fragile as a flower, unable to withstand anything that comes at me, including the outside…

"Whatever you say princess," I tease her, but she only smiles lightly in response, not annoyed like she used to be, something is bothering her, and I know what it is, me…

"Rima…" I say in a low voice.

"Nagi, I know things seem bleak now, but please, don't give up hope… it crushed me you know, every time I come here, you just look paler and paler, you keep getting more attacks, you drink more and more medications, but what hurts the most is that, every time I come, a little hope died inside you, do you really think I wouldn't notice?"

As I hear that, I just can't help to raise my voice at her, "Well, do YOU know who it feels like? To know that your death bed is just around the corner waiting for you to sleep on it?! Years ago, when I left you! I was determined to be cured, that one day a miracle will happen, and I can return to your side, to be with you, that the brighter days are just ahead of me. But in this point of my life that just stops true…" I end weakly.

After a few moments of silence, I just realized that I practically shouted at her even though she was just trying to encourage me, and guilt washes over me. I look up to see her, "Rima… look, I'm sorry that I yell-"

She cut me off, "Nagi, I don't know how it feels like… but you also don't know how it feels like… being me, watching the man you love every day, losing hope bit by bit and slowly succumbing to despair, and yet, you couldn't do anything! You couldn't do a single damn thing besides watching from the sidelines."

"A few days ago, when you suffered from that attack, I could only watch as the doctors and nurses treat you and your face writhing in pain, I could only stood there, not being able to do anything." By this point, her face is already drenched with her own tears.

"I know things seem bleak now, but believe in me, I am trying my best here to save you as well. In my own ways." She ends softly.

I sit straighter on my bed and I pull her into an embrace, "I'm sorry for yelling at you Rima, I… I'm just too stupid to realize at times, how can I lose hope? When my reason for living visits me every day, forgive me my princess." I end teasing her, and with that I kiss her, not passionate, but just a sweet light kiss, that is, just us…

Suddenly the door opens, we pull away immediately, and I look at the doctor that just came in, interrupting our moment. The doctor looks briefly at the both of us, from me to Rima, he stares at Rima quite oddly, but I can't decipher it, and then he turns his gaze towards me, and stars speaking, "Fujisaki-san, I am here to inform you that a donor has been found, and it matches your heart, we're ready for a heart transplant in 3 days, congratulations." And with that, he left.

I can't resist the smile that is creeping through my face… I turn towards Rima, who's crying, "Thank goodness Nagi, I'm just *sob* so relieved" She says while crying. And I embrace her once more, this time I am not wrong to say that the brighter days are just ahead of us, the first thing I'm going to do when I get out of the hospital is punching that man that confessed to my Rima.

* * *

><p>3 days passed with a blur, and it's suddenly the day of my operation, to say that I am nervous is an understatement to the max, I am beyond nervous, I just can't help thinking that things will go horribly wrong, such an optimist I am… I snort in my mind.<p>

To top all of that, Rima can't be here for my operation today, yesterday, she came crying because she couldn't attend today's operation, she was in tears, telling me how sorry she was, and how she loved me, and how she didn't know if she could make up for it. I, of course, not being able to stand her in tears, told her I was alright, besides, we had our days ahead of us, and she could make it up by spending time with me outside after I got better.

With our future in mind, I enter the operation room determined that I would be alright.

…

…

…

…

The operation went successfully, the doctor told me after I passed several examinations, I can do my daily routine again. I am so very delighted.

A couple of days later, I am still in the hospital, but what is strange is that Rima doesn't come to visit me anymore, so my days went uneventfully, but today is different, today… Rima's mother and father who already got divorce, come to my room.

Her father has this unreadable expression, and her mother is in tears, and that scene unnerve me, I cannot imagine what must have happened to Rima, seconds seem like hours and minutes seem like decades to me until her mother breaks that unbearable atmosphere.

She hands me a letter that I look at with confusion, "That's *sob* our daughter's last message to you *sob*"

"What do you mean? Where is Rima? She can just tell me these stuffs herself," I ask waiting for a reply that I already know, but just the thought of it is impossible for me.

Her father answers me this time, "She…. Passed away, if you read that letter, you will know what happened to her," he cannot seem to meet my gaze as the whole time he was speaking; never did he look directly at me.

Her mother just continues to cry her eyes out, and I just stare at them and the letter with disbelieve, my hand shaking, I open the letter and read its content.

_Dear Nagi,_

_If you're reading this letter, I must not already be there anymore, and that your operation was a success, congratulations, you can now live as a healthy young man._

_First of all, I want to say that I am really sorry, sorry that you have to find out this way, what is more ironic is that I am plagiarizing you from your little stunt five years ago. By a letter, a freaking letter._

_Second of all, I'm sorry that I did this without your consent, but I just really wanted to save you, it was the day when you suffered from an attack, I just couldn't bear it anymore, I went to the doctor and asked him to examine my heart, to see if it matches yours, after all if there was no miracle we can always just make them ourselves right? _

_And a miracle happened, it matched, I hurriedly forged my parents' signature, et cetera, and it was quite easy to receive an approval. _

_You know, the day when you knew that there was a donor, you just looked so happy, and I couldn't bring myself to tell you the fact that it was me._

_But, I have no regrets; your happiness means the world to me, even until now._

_I cried a lot a day before your operation because I just couldn't bear the fact of never seeing you again, your smile, your laughter, your teasing, they were all just too precious, but if I didn't do it, that said things would be lost forever, that's why until the end, I went through with it._

_So, I'm gonna end this just like you did 5 years ago, _

_Nagihiko Fujisaki,_

_I love you, I did, I always do, and always will,_

_Farewell my love,_

_Live a happy life for my share too,_

_Mashiro Rima_

I stare at the letter with disbelieve, did she really think that this is the best for me? By now I can't contain my tears anymore; they are already out like a streaming waterfall, unable to stop.

Rima, me too…

_I love you too,_

_So why?_

_Why did you decide to leave me alone?_

* * *

><p>Sorry for the rushed ending, I just feel like I have to finish it somehow<p> 


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